🚧 Myth #3: All Roads in India Are Terrible

...or why a barefoot grandpa in a lungi might just be the national symbol of transport philosophy)

Almost everyone who's ever planned a trip to India has heard it: "The roads are awful, and driving there is a nightmare."

On one hand — there's a grain of truth to that. On the other — roads here do exist. And not just a few. A lot. A whole lot.

📈 India ranks second in the world for the length of its road network. Over 6.6 million kilometers. That’s not a joke — it's a stubborn fact, as stubborn as an Indian white rhinoceros. But where there are kilometers, there isn't always quality. That’s where fate takes the wheel: here you might get a smooth expressway, and five minutes later — a forgotten gravel path that feels like a leftover from the Pushkin era.

🔹 Reading the Road Signs: What Awaits You According to the Stars and Your Traffic Karma

🛣️ NH — National Highway: The federal highways. Usually well-maintained and often tolled. Driving on them is mostly a pleasure.

🛣️ SH — State Highway: Built and maintained by state authorities. The condition depends on the state and the mood of its officials. Sometimes excellent, sometimes not — but usually, even when narrow, the pavement is decent.

🛣️ MDR/ODR — State Highway: Built and maintained by state authorities. The condition depends on the state and the mood of its officials. Sometimes excellent, sometimes not — but usually, even when narrow, the pavement is decent.

🛣️ Expressway — The crown jewel of modern Indian engineering. Wide, smooth, fast, and often… empty. But even here, keep your eyes open — someone might have missed their U-turn and decided to just drive against traffic. (Sadly, not a joke. More of a routine.)

The crown jewel of modern Indian engineering. Wide, smooth, fast, and often… empty. But even here, keep your eyes open — someone might have missed their U-turn and decided to just drive against traffic. (Sadly, not a joke. More of a routine.) 🕉️✨.

🔺 And What’s Happening in Kerala?

Ah, Kerala — where the roads have a personality of their own.

🚧 The main artery here is NH66, which stretches along the coast from Thiruvananthapuram to Kasaragod and is meant to reliably connect Kerala with Tamil Nadu.

Construction started back in 2017. It was supposed to be completed by 2022. Then they said 2023. Then 2025. As of now, the most optimistic forecast is “maybe late 2026.”

⚖️ The problems are as diverse as India itself: court battles over land acquisition, sluggish contractors, and — just to spice things up — in May 2025 a whole embankment collapsed in Malappuram, triggering fines, interrogations, and a flood of local memes 😂

⏱️ The distance between Thiruvananthapuram and Kochi (no offense, Kozhikode) is just over 200 km. In theory, it could take 2.5 to 3 hours. In reality — 5.5 to 6. Add rain (not uncommon here) and surprise roadworks with zero warning, and your ETA starts to feel like a philosophical question.

📍 Our own experience driving through Kerala: it took us 9 days to drive from Delhi to Thiruvananthapuram. Five of those days were spent covering the rest of India. The remaining four? Just Kerala. That’s Indian math for you 😒

🚌 The Joy of Driving (Or: The Chaos Ballet)

Picture this: a narrow road, a barefoot grandpa in a lungi on a bicycle, steering with one hand and selling lottery tickets from a wooden box mounted to the handlebar. A guy on a scooter, balancing a full gas cylinder. A woman walking a goat. A tuk-tuk that decides to make a U-turn right in front of you, no signal, no shame. A windowless Ashok Leyland bus the size of a two-story house, honking like a steam train because it’s very late and very unapologetic. A pair of local tourists on massive Royal Enfields riding the wrong way down the road “because they really need to.” And in the background — a pair of uniformed Road Police officers watching all this with complete zen detachment.

But wait! Dare to hesitate for a second at an intersection — and suddenly those same cops are rushing over, waving their arms: “Come on! Why are you just standing there? You’re driving — so drive! Go! Somewhere!”

🏙️ Cities and Villages (Or One Never-Ending Town)

Kerala is one of those places where it's genuinely hard to tell where one town ends and the next begins. The entire stretch from Kochi to Thiruvananthapuram feels like a single, unbroken ribbon of civilization. There’s even a project in discussion to officially turn the whole state into a continuous urban corridor — a kind of mono-city-suburbia that runs the length of the coast🏙️.

That’s why traveling by car in Kerala can take so long. If you want to get somewhere fast, trains are your best bet — especially the high-speed Vande Bharat 🚄. For example, the journey from Thiruvananthapuram to Kochi takes under three hours by Vande Bharat.

🚻 Roadside Infrastructure (And the Intimate Side of Logistics)

Infrastructure-wise, India is doing great. Along the roads, you’ll find gas stations, grocery shops, cafes, pharmacies — even tire repair stalls popping up like mushrooms after monsoon. Toilets? Well, those are more of a mystery box. Usually, you’ll find them at fuel stations or roadside dhabas. And if not — no problem. Locals simply get out of their car, look at the sky philosophically, and… take care of business. Often without stepping too far from the vehicle.

🏨 As for lodging — there’s no shortage of that either: motels, guesthouses, hotels — all over the place. Most are bookable via Booking.com. And if you take the time to read reviews, the chance of ending up in a clay hut with a hole in the wall drops to near zero.

🚘 Why Road Tripping in India Is Awesome

Road-tripping across India is an adventure worth every kilometer. You're not bound by schedules. You can stop anywhere — and that’s not a figure of speech. See something interesting? Pull over, take photos, shoot a video, chat with the locals, hop into a temple 🛕, grab a samosa 🥟, or — if it's one of those days — just chill and take a smoke break. Then get back on the road. It’s the best way to see the real, raw India — just remember: unexpected things will happen. That’s part of the charm.

🛡️ Is It Safe?

Yes. Very much so. Police officers, when they see a white tourist driving, usually just smile, wave, and keep walking. No one wants extra paperwork. And on the road — despite the chaos — there's an incredible sense of tolerance and respect: people give way, no one screams, and honking isn’t a threat.

📯 Oh yes, honking... It's a whole language here. Unlike in Russia, where a horn might mean, “Hey idiot, pull over or else,” in India, it’s closer to a gentle tap on the shoulder: “I see you,” “I’m here,” “I'm overtaking,” or “Please don’t fall asleep.” It’s the official dialect of Indian traffic — and you'll learn it fast.

When I was learning to ride a scooter, I asked a local: “So… when should I honk?” He looked at me like I was a lost soul and said, “Just honk when your heart tells you to.” Ever since then, that’s what I do. Sometimes, the heart says to honk every ten seconds — and that’s perfectly normal here 🫣

🌏 Across India as a Whole

Yes, many Indian roads are genuinely excellent. But as soon as you leave the comfort of an NH or expressway — expect surprises. The key is to approach it all with humor and patience, just like that barefoot grandpa in a lungi.

💡 Tips for Road Travelers

• Avoid big cities like Mumbai, Chennai, Bangalore, and Pune unless they're your destination. They’re known for endless traffic jams.

• Always carry cash for tolls — your international card might not work, as most systems are geared for local FASTag payments.

• Avoid night driving, especially during monsoon season.

• 🗺️ Use Google Maps — but don't trust them blindly, especially in rural areas.

• Always have water, snacks, and patience.

• In cities and villages, opt for a two-wheeler or tuk-tuk — often faster and more practical.

💸  What Does It Cost?

Toll roads are common on expressways and NH routes. Expect to pay ₹100–₹500 per segment. (Bonus: 🗺️ Google Maps often shows toll amounts in advance.)

Payment is usually in cash or via FASTag (for local vehicles). Sometimes there's a machine, but more often — a human cashier who might suddenly disappear for a tea break. Especially when you're in a rush.